In the last few weeks, a number of my clients have highlighted that they are struggling to say No when asked to do things. While this has always been an ongoing issue for my coaching clients, I was surprised to see it coming to the fore so much in the last few weeks, and it made me wonder why. I would suspect that part of the reason is that because more people are returning to work in their offices, there are more opportunities for them to be asked as they are perceived as being more visible and accessible. I also wondered whether it is the demographic of my client base; maybe they are too nice and want to say yes as the task looks interesting or they think it will add value to what they do. However, I would urge you to balance what you take on with what you can fit into your day realistically, and therefore sometimes you may need to learn to say No.
I thought I’d provide a brief set of points to help better define your boundaries and be more assertive. There are 4 key points to consider:
I would encourage anyone who struggles to say No to work through what is currently within their workload regularly so that they have a better idea of what is currently on their plate. This will enable you to prioritise and plan more effectively in the future, and be able to more positively assert that you do not have capacity to take on additional tasks. It’s very easy if you don’t have this knowledge to continue to add things into your workload under the radar to the point that it then becomes overwhelming.
This is something that I really have to work on myself, as being asked to do something plays to the people pleasing side of my personality, but I have been caught out lots of times with the overwhelm, so have now realised the value of ensuring I have a better understanding of my own workload before saying Yes. It is something that I always need to keep in check, so I would encourage you to be kind to yourselves as well going forward, and think before you commit. This is something that it can be valuable to have a “power hour” coaching session about, if you would like to work on how you can manage this more effectively, so I’m really happy for you to get in touch.
Photo Credit and explanation: Just Say No! was a 1980s Grange Hill campaign... it always remind me of the cheesy song attached to the campaign, but whenever a client says they don't know how to say no, Zammo's face pops into my head, so thought I'd include it as the title photo